I’ve fallen off the wagon. Truth be told, there are probably a lot of wagons I have abandoned over the course of time. Figuring out how to climb back on is not as easy as it sounds when you are actually on the wagon, feeling smug. I was a smug yoga-wagon rider, never believing anything could disrupt my practice. Then I fell off the wagon.
No reason to go back and re-hash all of my excuses for letting my yoga practice fall victim to a schedule that seemed to be bursting at the seams over the past two months. (Two months?!) All I have are excuses. And an unfortunate snowball effect of letting slip something in my life that feeds my heart and soul as much as my physical body. Thinking back, it was surprisingly easy to do. I prioritized everything over my practice. I chose to believe the day was simply not long enough for that hour on my mat. Some days I would say, without a doubt, it was true. Most days it wasn’t.
It happens to the best of us. Life happens. Excuses become valid. New habits are formed. It is all part of living. Being aware of our actions and choices is what matters. Choosing to change is the thing.
Y2 has been my home for nearly 6 years. Some of the most amazing people in my life are the yogis I have become friends with over time. My life has been fundamentally changed because of this place and this practice. So why am I actually feeling anxious about going back??
Physically I know my practice will not be the same. I might fall out of half moon or struggle in pigeon. What if people wonder where I have been? What if I have to walk out more than before or I lose my breath in the warm-up?
This self doubt and fear of the unknown…even the known unknown, can be powerful and paralyzing. I wonder what could help with that? Oh yeah….yoga.
It’s time to come home.